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2009-03-17T10:03:00.002+08:00

till today, i cannot be sure if che-works is a noun or verb, but here is a place i no longer belong, i had good times crusading but now i'm off to shimming at wordpress.

2009-03-11T21:06:00.001+08:00

2009-03-05T14:44:00.000+08:00

i want to say, i have a name card now!

2009-02-09T17:11:00.000+08:00

2009-02-06T00:07:00.003+08:00

four years ago and in the youth of my youth, i skipped work often to hang around videoez. i ate alot of prata, watched a lot of planes fly by. four years ago, i had my first love. to get to her, i had to go pass lentor, which i thought nothing of, of course, lentor was quick. four years ago, i was terribly disappointed because my grades could not bring me to where i thought i wanted to go to.

so three years ago and with plenty of time at hand, i wrote about two tortoises which i named after my friends. three years ago, i was busy with penning the drops of my thoughts, i attempted a chinese poem. three years ago, i was upset over a girl. ju told me that love is when you play with cats. three years ago, i was dragging myself to school at MI, sleeping my classes away, i go home in the afternoons with bus rides that travel through lentor which i immensely enjoy, and i always listened to foo fighter's walking after you when the bus turns out from bradell. three years ago, i was not doing anything fulfilling for my life, and i still did not know where it is that i wanted to go.

two years ago, i went crazy on nuggets from mcdonalds, but nuggets was nuggests instead. two years ago, i was writing my essay for my graduation and had schedule myself to 750 words a day, so that i could have it finished in four days. two years ago, i again travelled by lentor but i no longer listened to the foo fighters. two years ago, i visited a mangrove swamp and ran out of it because of jay-walking lizards, and this green snake that i never really did see but was nevertheless still terrifed of. i also had my first steak two years ago. two years ago, i was not doing anything productive for my life. i procrastinated, fell in love, got upset again, fell out of love, experienced true friendship, got to where i wanted to go, did what i wanted to do, but still had not achieved anything.

one year ago, i wrote endlessly about the skies, the clouds and the rain. one year ago, i had yu sheng on my birthday, and is when i realized that i cannot resist japanese food. one year ago, i was a 'young punk', which i refuse to acknowledge. it was also the year i started fiddling with my slr, and even from one year ago, i can still hear the distinct sound when the film rolls over. one year ago, lentor was forgotten. i fell in love again and had the longest relationship i ever had. that year i lived and worked in the company of books, feeling so belonged that i did not want to leave it for anything better. it was also the year where i took the biggest leap, decided to stop schooling and head for the working world. for the better of myself, it was one of the best decisions i made, it gave way to the growth that i had been earnestly looking for four years ago.

this year began with a challenge i never imaged would arrive so quickly. this year i am looking to be reassigned up a tier from last year. this year, i will forget the achievement and pride from last year and set myself a higher standard to reach. but this year, i will not forget those four years that passed, they are the bridge that paved a path to the other side. i do not know what this side has in store, but i will not fear. four years have molded me, i will not have them to waste. having all that i have now, i will have more in time to come. time is no longer in between or after.

my time is now.

2009-02-05T18:43:00.003+08:00

my fabulous work environment:

2009-01-31T01:34:00.002+08:00

1. nuclear fission
2. getting front size 36-ed
3. 12 hours work days
4. blood on my hands
5. losing money at in-between
6. friday/saturday nights of mahjong
7. losing sleep
8. thinking about my birthday
9. fantasizing about mee siam, mee rebus and popiah
10. blood in my heart
11. picking up my guitar, picking strings but not remembering what song it is
12. not going to the gym
13. nicky scare
14. exit music
15. once upon a time in china
16. blood on my feet
17. if it makes you happy then why the hell are you so sad
18. helping to make pineapple tarts, almond and ghee cookies
19. need steamboat
20. pressure

goodbye miserable january, i wouldn't miss you.

2008-12-31T13:03:00.002+08:00

so... 2008 ended up with:

1. developing external obliques (it looks rather tardy if you do not notice the tummy)
2. a good career start
3. 2 CD purchases - dido and juno (cat power is woah power)
4. bangkok, redang, hainan dao, and kuala lumpur
5. more books that my shelves can contain
6. have i mentioned nicer arms??
7. everything will be alright. if i just breathe
8. having my gaming-researching-surfing-writing report multitasking skillz pay off, making me ultra l33t at work
9. winning at mahjong and developing some skillz in tile blocking
10. discovering that i am a music hobo, i listen to mainly crap and i savage music from friends
11. hosting games for my company's year-end party
12. the cat in the hat
13. putting on weight when everyone else is wanting to lose it
14. converting a few friends to the gospel of the tampon
15. proving lilian otherwise

a good year, personal achievements which i am very proud of, sights and travels, a great year in fact. i must say i am quite successful for a twenty year-old.

you have about 10 hours left to call me a minor.

2008-12-14T04:36:00.001+08:00

when time is a continuum of space, when space is the fabric that weaves your flight to mine. when relativity is x in your equation over mine, as the square root of our souls. that which removes time away from time, adds place into place. how it falls with motion, and tear away from gravity's core. my pursuit of light into the endlessness of your universe.

2008-12-08T10:11:00.001+08:00

i could still debate with you all night about how huge christmas trees are positioned in shopping centres; except that there had been a drought of them for the past 11 months. or sit beside you to listen to ridiculous jokes about shrink-wrapping machines, unopened ikea comforters; though your jokes have expanded to my clumsiness. i still trample all over my words and is not much intelligent. conversations about the weather and fossil fuels have been taken over by my angry work rants. i still am convincing you to eat though now joe's kitchen is helping me with it. i would still exterminate cockroaches that scare you like that day when we were taking a night walk with your dog down your block. i stopped trying to trick you with dead bats and telling you that they're rotten fruits that resembles the shape of a bat, because i would let you see them so you could cringe and then i could hold you. i did made french toast for you but you loved your own french toast better. i learnt sudoku from you but now that you cannot stop solving them on your mobile, i refuse to think and help you because they make me feel gloomy. we are still not having tissue paper every time we eat alone but i am glad for the past few days that you had them. my face is still default even though you try make me smile, believe me i am still trying to crack. i have not stopped biting my own nails, neither have you stopped peeling the skin off your thumb. you have convinced me that i am not tone deaf, and is now trying to convince me that i need to listen and follow the proper tones. a few hours ago, you appeared out of nowhere, knocking my door and scaring 4 other people. i still enjoy sitting close to you in car rides especially when space is a constrain but i would enjoy it more if it could be just the both of us, so i could kiss you when the traffic lights go red. i still could not care much about speaking proper english, but you roll your eyes now. your occasional lisp still amuses me though it cannot even out my speech anymore. i stopped liking it when you correct me but i like it that it bothers you.

these may not be entirely relevant now, but what relevant is the time

2008-11-28T11:47:00.003+08:00

i will follow you here
into the dark
for an eagle's eye

2008-11-20T22:55:00.002+08:00

i gaze out of windows because i like to find the horizon. i stare into the rain because i like to observe the intensity of the rain. i like to write about things that seem sad because there you have a point in contrast.

i was nonchalant, i grew so, and i'd like to be shimmy but i am sad now. so... maybe a walk?

2008-11-19T00:24:00.007+08:00

i found out today that... my cousins, a and m, are working in the same building as me! i am quite sure that i had something to write about... i just don't seem to remember where that thought went to. anyway, i found embarrassing photos of jy and i doing embarrassing actions on fb:

i am upset with myself for uninstalling my WoW!! work had been so busy with rollouts, typesetter transitions (again), guideline edits, ed board changes, system migrations, angry authors, fss review, and copyright issues; on top of the corrections, proofs, and revises i have to do, i would have time if i was an alien with 4 pairs of arms and a superior brain. [sometimes i wish my ceiling cat (partition cat actually because my ceiling is too high) would meow]

i went to amore's blast class last saturday, i thought it would be a wicked way to manage my anger by punching and kicking on paddings (kickboxing has lost its appeal). but what turned out to be wicked was getting my ear kicked by my partner, whom i found out later in the locker room that she is in the police force. (juju: she looked like jor!) i also burst 5cm worth of capillaries.

random fact #67: i am more likely to trip over a curb, or fall while listening to enrique iglesias's bailamos

ry's over and over is so emo i felt like cutting my wrists at 0:04, i am now repenting with 王心凌's 当你.

2008-11-10T23:57:00.004+08:00

a break from 3 dimensional female blood elves, i share with you... karaoke party!

no downloads! (yes there is actually a wiki page on roti prata)

choice of analog or not

it takes a while...

the pitch and tone bar (position and color denotes your pitch and tone)

i know at this point you'd think that the system to measure my score is inaccurate

2008-11-10T17:25:00.005+08:00

the year is ending and time left to procrastinate is ceasing... a year ago i was a lesser flamingo, still not any greater now, still caping around. though i must say this is a good year of change. no, i do not have a niffy psp, or a touchscreen phone, or a mac (god forbid); neither did i get drunk, kiss random girls, nor have six different girlfriends in a year. i did whore my money for a fancy watch, a pair of nice glasses and maybe a gorgeous bag (serious), but my favorite things of the year are my job, fountainhead, imr, vanilla latte on a cold cold wet day, ... and my gym membership.

mondays are gym days! but today, blood is flowing. since i do not have a tampon with me, the thought of gyming in pad disgusts me, but maybe i should go get a box of tampon...

i think my body is fine, what i really want (and probably need) is to have a cup of coffee and talk. i need to talk, engage in a debate, disagree with somebody, laugh about palin, or come up with some random theory about why lesbians do the things they do. this will only be the only time i feel sociable enough to want to interact with a group of people.

usually i hermit back in january.

p.s there is nothing difficult about being with someone who has different interests, what hard is to accept that you are less likely to continue doing the things you like to do, regardless of collectively

2008-11-05T21:00:00.001+08:00

2008-10-30T14:17:00.002+08:00

nel (i hate her ridiculously large breasts)

2008-10-29T16:33:00.000+08:00

harry... died

2008-10-21T23:49:00.003+08:00

food poisoning and needing a new stomach aside, one day i will lost track of the things i say, where i say them, and why i say them.

happenings over the past weeks: you; white suspenders made from scratch; box of pasta salad; mango juice; steamboat; birthdays; wine; food (!!); a new bag, singing to cheesy boyband songs; breast assault by ching and wong;fantasizing about dressing up for halloween; grammatic dilemma over the use of capital letters in my personal writings; emailing lau wan sze; watching blogspot losing friends to livejournal, and watching livejournal losing to wordpress; three-timing blogspot, livejournal, and wordpress; korean serials (not the ones that make you cry); eating my salary away; watching a-mei going high high high live; anticipating russell peters in november; missing mambo; growing muscles on my arms; being mildly sad over the lump in my stomach; in the name of the rose, runaway, the wednesday letters, marry me, and gregorious.

a glass of mango juice would be great now...

2008-10-15T17:46:00.004+08:00

i want to get away from work to take a trip to the beach, or anywhere with endless blue skies, when the sun reigns and my glands prosper. to have a breather, not because i am out of breath, but because i want to breathe, and breathe the sun-roasted air.

2008-10-09T11:08:00.000+08:00

2008-10-08T11:54:00.002+08:00

i am catching the second presidential elections debate through live twitter feeds (click if you're into it)!

i actually wish that there is somebody around who keep tracks of the elections so i can poke fun of the things that are so funny (my friend...), but no one will understand because no one bothers. on the other hand, people do not bother themselves with the things i bother, so essentially it does not bother me but it does make me feel a little lonesome.

i might really need a clone.

2008-09-14T12:35:00.002+08:00

that chanced 3 minutes of last night was the best thing that happened this september.

i have always enjoyed hearing z sing, but you, it's a nice surprise. you both were singing my song, well it's not mine i didn't write it, but you know it's one of those songs that you shared with someone once. i honestly never knew you could sing, i liked it and for that 3 minutes i have never enjoyed september this much. then you guys had to holla at me, it was embarrassing. but i think i know now why i'll always be aaronn to some, no matter how much i insist to stop calling me that.

i should check out one of your full sets some time, you guys are fantastic.

2008-09-10T00:37:00.000+08:00

it is a good question really, a serious thought that brings out the idealism in you and me. a good question that i do not have a serious answer for. i would like to think that day would be the day i am waiting for all my life, the day i lived through with yesterday's eyes, the day that i never wanted to lapse. nothing fancy, i would eat alot, maybe ramen.

i would get a starbucks on my way to work because seriously the idea of having machine-grade cappuccino is not very appealing. and yes, i want it to be a work day. i want to open outlook and receive 20 emails, no less. in fact, i want to receive some faxes and a courier or two. i like opening things, especially things with paper in it. two cigarette sticks at ten in the good morning sun, i am not mad, i like sitting in the sun, makes me feel warmth.

lunch at the soup place, bread and soup i never finish. it will be a wednesday. i like wednesdays, no i would not be going for mambo. back to work, i would not mind an angry author or editor, or both. i would be busy, but i would go sticky pad c, w and h's tables, talk and laugh loudly in the pantry. go for my afternoon smoke break with the mother, have a small intelligent witty conversation. make cyn bring me coke from her office, i would not forget the coke! work overtime, enjoy the sunset from parkview, the silence. listen to this song, waking life, while watching the skyline, orange light.

linger around, read web comics until it is time for pilates, think of nicky (sorry cannot help it), mull about him for awhile. i would not bathe though, people smell after they die anyway.

writing letters and talking to people would be rather pointless at this stage, so i hope you would know what you should know. even if you had no clue, you should know, but you could try asking ju, if you ask ju, you have to ask joy, then you decide for yourself. also, for the fun, amusement and for the heck of it, i will post the lyrics to leaving on a jet plane here. this should only take about a hour.

letting the impulsiveness of the heart free for 8 hours till my pulse runs out.

2008-09-08T15:13:00.000+08:00

2008-09-06T00:46:00.002+08:00

i make things difficult for myself till the point i derive an almost perverse pleasure from it where then i see no point in being difficult.

2008-09-02T00:12:00.000+08:00

seal my words
in a paper
folded within
a hundred folds

2008-09-01T01:02:00.001+08:00

first draft of new room! (which only costs $633 with the table, chair, book shelf, side table and wardrobe)

(ikea home planner is really fun, even if you're not getting a new room you should go and get greeky with it) my brother and i plan to switch rooms because he likes small room and coziness and i want space. i felt so claustrophobic sleeping in my room i woke up (was hungry so i ordered mcdonalds) and then went to sleep in my parent's room (their water bed finally feels like a water bed), only to get chased away by my dad, so went into brother's room but there was too much noise because dad went to sing ktv. ultimately i had no choice but to creep back into my burrow.

i figured that i need a bigger bookshelf than wardrobe, and i get to keep the television in my brother's room (here is where my mind digresses to PS3)! the color coordination is still strange, i hate the color of the door, pale green, i am not going to have a cottage door you know. since the bulk of my new furnitures are going to be white, i might as well change my bed. (hee) i also must do something about the awkward space beside the door and the window.

now i feel as if i had been living in a dormitory instead of a room. (current layout of room versus how room really looks like)

i am already living like a college kid, no wonder my mum rejected the hypothetical idea of sending me overseas to study should she win 4D, toto or big sweep.

2008-08-26T21:56:00.000+08:00

i was intending to visit cambodia this year end and was still intending to, not until incredible !ndia came into the picture. 3 of my typesetters are located there and typesetter 2 has been incredibly nice! i would really love to meet them (i need to put a face to the people i work with), besides that documentary from 2 years ago about rajasthan is still fresh in my head.

i was casually asking j (no not you ju, definitely not joy, j will now refer to typesetter 2 contact 2) about the accessibility to rajasthan, and he got me rail information! rail information meaning, departure time, pricing, travel time and websites to get more information from.

i am going to make it the trip of the year. (stares at ju)

2008-08-24T21:00:00.001+08:00

generalization of straight girls and lesbians -

me: why are straight girls boring, always give things like jacket/boxers/shirts to their boyfriend on anniversaries

joy: lesbian girls always give books eh. those handmade type

2008-08-21T00:17:00.004+08:00

10th week at work:

after 3 errata, 1 angry editor's email later, journal 1 is letting go of the typesetter
inheriting animal journal that has a backlog of over 300 articles
experiencing strange urges to break out into cantonese songs every time i email my hk typesetter
the people i like in the office can be sterotyped into the following groups: indie/pesudo goth girl, jeans girl, straight guy and the smoking mother
improved pr skills, i am chummy with this author by the name of mary, who is probably the nicest author i came across currently
filling my desk with sticky pads ranging from useful reminders, to time differences in other places, to random 4-liners, and to angry drawings of stickmen stabbing themselves
supplier of munchies
got through with my mid-term probation review
loving journals that are messed-up because i like to clean difficult things up
christened the golden bird scully and naming the bronze cups spunky

after 3rd trip to the gym:

running (i'm running!)
possess no hand-body-leg coordination
inability to follow the instructor's count of inhaling and exhaling
my guilty feet has got no rhythm
getting and staring at my gym membership card because i have a long neck in the photo and it bothers me in a non-bothering manner
discovering pilates
kicking and punching air to dispel work anger
enjoying

2008-08-19T20:10:00.002+08:00

next week is pay day, and pay day is book buying day!

i have not thought of what books to get, through i am dreading the probability of getting disappointed of not finding something i really like. i must say i am quite intrigued by anonymous' recommendation of einstein's dream by alan lightman but it is out of stock in page one. (zzz) actually i can only recall seeing another title by the author.

i know i am super anal when it comes to books, but if you read this and if you have any* book recommendations, tell me!

*any excludes - stephanie meyer, murakami, best selling titles, oscar wilde, jane austen, the bronte girls and dickens

2008-08-18T10:45:00.002+08:00

time has always been a recurring theme, and this strange affinity with time has brought me closer than ever, to the fullness of my time.

time is not always lateral, that's the thing, we cannot take time and define it in its singularity and take it universally.

your time is different from mine, of course yes the physical time, but time has made us forgotten that time is also mental, emotional and spirtual. for awhile, we basked in what was thought to be our time, though now i am certain i was never in yours and you never fitted into mine.

there are many types of time, time that pauses to halt till the right moment comes to continue; time that flows round the clock never to stop; time that follows time to transcend time because you cannot stop; time that ends when time ends.

time does not stop on its own, only time can stop time. what stopped the time between you and i was not the different plane of time that we dwelled in, but the time that was brought into our time that made it hard, if not impossible for our time to transcend into each other's.

our time has ate its own tail, this, the fullness of it.

2008-08-12T09:25:00.000+08:00

and in the shadows of the night, i'll trace your silhouette in candlelight

2008-08-10T23:44:00.003+08:00

you were standing on a balcony that spans our sights beyond the unconditional skies. the sky was reddening, you told me we'd better get in, the sky will pour. no, i said let's stay out here, the sky is glowing along with my heart.

you had your fingers pointed to the swimming pool beneath us, "you're the stillessness, your heart ripples, the water cannot be motionless because young boys are horsing in the swallow end of your pool. stillessness, it infects and now you're defect, your deepest end waving around, restless".

i took your fingers and had them on your lips but you would not yield.

"your heart is glowing, you're no longer still".

was i ever?

2008-08-07T21:12:00.002+08:00

it was too wet play, so we stayed in at home, all on that cold, cold, wet day.

did you realize how in the cold air, smoke swirls longer and higher only to creep into a miasma? or have you felt how your skin rebirths itself when the cold air runs through? we could have stayed warm and whole indoors, now that we are out, does your heart comfort itself with the dance of the wind? and have it cried with that same movement because you were no longer warm? are you nestling with my restless nestles? are you missing something that i am missing?

i never knew because i always stayed in on those cold, cold, wet days. you too.

it was too wet play, so i got out anyway, and i felt all these, all on this cold, cold, wet day.

2008-08-06T15:04:00.003+08:00

just an hour and a half ago, i was having my lunch stick beside the porch of parkview. there was a man who was smoking and listening to his ipod. this man was walking from one side of the wall to the other, i know my sudden being there might distract him from prancing up and down. (if i was prancing and somebody sat down near me i would feel strange, but what which you think is stranger, prancing man or smoking girl?) my mind was screaming "STOP WALKING STOP WALKING STOP WALKING", and he did. he walked to the bin to butt his cigarette off, and came back to continue prancing. he pranced for about the length of his cigarette, til it annoyed and disturbed my smoking-being-alone-musing-about-the-sky-and-whatever-that-could-be-mused moment that i got up and walked away.

you have no idea how a prancing man could destroy your moment.

(i need to pee now)

2008-08-04T23:57:00.001+08:00

to peel off the price tag from the lighter that you previously refused to, because the tag has been there for some long and it is sticky. you dislike holding things that stick to your thumb, like the pen that became sticky after you peeled off its bar code, or like rice that has gotten sticky and it sticks to your spoon because the people who cooked it added too much water.

sticky is tacky.

2008-07-29T17:22:00.003+08:00

resolve is sometimes like the will to scour through every shelf, looking for books that have been misplaced, to delicately return them to where they originally belong. sometimes people get sloopy, we see misplaced books but we let it be because we feel lazy, tired. we tell ourselves that it is okay to leave them where they stick out, it is okay because we have been here long enough to know that it does not belong, the others would not be aware, no one will realise it. then we sticky pad recovery to the back of our heads, but when tomorrow comes we forget all about it. at least until we see it again, where the thought process happens over. that is not resolve.

you have resolve when you keep your books in place, you have resolve when you instinctively know where the customer leave the books behind and you have resolve when you go take it and put it back.

resolve is when you wipe the top of every shelf in your section every morning you work, not because it is part of your job responsibility, it is when the dust annoys you, when you want your shelves to be clean.

resolve is walking your customer from the literature section to where the travel books are even though you are hungry, tired and your feet hurts from standing around too much.

when you choke and cough from the smoke of the shrink-wrap machine but you enjoy doing it because it makes you feel satisfied, you have resolve.

resolve is many things we have and do not have. which one are we?

2008-07-28T19:50:00.009+08:00

so we headed to malaysia truly asia, i think i agree. KL marks the first fully-filled page in my passport! i think i am quite inspired by mee rubus and ramlee burger to travel to every state in malaysia. i have tried malacca's lok lok which i did not enjoy, ate fantastic nasi lemak in merang, fried cockles in kl and the best mee rubus in yong peng. ipod, penang and kuching next!

before

after! no more fringe, i feel weird now that my forehead is exposed

introducing... eliza

swiss-in hotel, our room has no windows but it's a steal at S$130 for two nights

we actually liked the room (the wardrobe is where my shirt's at )

the BEST ramlee burger i ever eaten

jalan sultan, where our hotel is located at

seafood place somewhere near bb plaza and sungei wang.
i don't know why it didn't occur us to take photos of our food,
we had fried cockles, sambal sotong (juju you will like), huge stingray
(that was small to the waiter), and orh lua

sweet eliza

bak gu teh

pig intestines soup (that tasted like porridge)

the only vegetable dish i truly enjoyed
(beside the brinjal in hainan and stir-fried asparagus)

i insisted that we must have a&w, why isn't
anyone opening a franchise in singapore? donuts are a fad,
not waffles!

the obligatory picture of the petronas tower,
actually it is proof that i have been to kl.

having starbucks at klcc with eliza and taking
photos of ants and a pebble

my hair is no longer black

eliza braving kl traffic

obligatory picture before coach leaves

i know, i caved in and got myself a pair of aviators even
though i can't see beyond 50m without my glasses. i
supposed since i have butch-dyed hair, i might as well
have butch shades and look butch even though
i am more lesbian than butch

we were at pertaling (no pictures) and i got myself fake a fake lv key pouch. i decided that i do not want to carry a real lv and go all i have a real lv wallet/coin pouch/key pouch/hand phone strap/cigarette case. i see no point and really where is the fun in that, when you tell people that yours is fake and watch their reaction?

2008-07-25T17:18:00.003+08:00

i am off to kl tonight! i had a sudden bolt of impulse to get away from singapore for the weeked. the girlfriend doesn't like batam, the girlfriend's girlfriend doesn't like desaru but both the girlfriend and the girlfriend's girlfriend like to shop, so kl makes a good choice.

running off at 530 to golden mile to collect the coach tickets, i called the women 3 times to convince her to hold them for me. all other coach agencies either have no night departures or are sold out. i was seriously considering aeroline (only on the basis that they have a nice name and night deperatures). got accomodation 2 only two hours ago.

i am so impulse i cannot comprehend myself! though i think it is a good thing, see i told you this year is a year of traveling.

(starhub just called to remind me to pay my bills, maybe i can just spend $50 in kl and not have my phone line cut-off)

ok remember to be good bye!

2008-07-24T01:51:00.002+08:00

work is replying to worried editors and their editorial offices at 3am singapore time. no i am not being overly eager about work, i just need things to be done fast and the fastest way to get things done is to communicate on a time zone similar to them. time passes really quick now, i finally feel i am moving with my own pace (except for days when i have no manuscripts, no corrections, no revises).

i enjoy what i am doing now, it makes me feel happy, not entirely but work happy at least. though i must say i miss shrink-wrapping and shelving books in page one. cheap thrill but there was this author today who addressed me as dr chong, i chuckled at it so much i had to take a screen shot of it, if i feel sad or anything i would go take it look at it and feel slightly better.

the cape is only for decorative and aesthetic purposes, it does not make me go any quicker than this.

(that way you could give it a tug too)

2008-07-23T00:19:00.000+08:00

it says an
accidental exposure of
a masochist
or two
as one
separate yet
tethered

it is
pretext in
pretense

2008-07-22T15:58:00.002+08:00

now that i have finished giggling internally about the subtle unspoken interaction between the author's corrections and the typesetter's queries, i am back to fighting the bordeom of tuesday.

but seriously, i need some mambo.

2008-07-17T20:29:00.002+08:00

(i am not sad anymore so i will continue to write, think i over-reacted)

i had an interesting day at work today! but after using the computer and typing from 830 to 730, i don't want to type anymore. i went home late because i received the author's corrections when i was about to leave, i was so happy that i had to transfer the corrections and send it to the typesetter. i left work feeling contented because even though this issue is 3 weeks behind schedule due to the handover, i feel more confident now that it would at least meet its publication month. everything had been sorted out, let's hope the typesetters don't disappoint!

i actually do look forward to work everyday, rather eager to find out what is in store for me tomorrow. plus, i am finally meeting up with lynette and agnes for dinner.

(friday's casual clothes day! i love you sneakers)

2008-07-17T14:21:00.001+08:00

it is like getting your foot ran over by a car where your heart is in your foot instead of your chest. but i have to stop writing now because i am too sad.

2008-07-16T09:14:00.001+08:00

i received my courrier! 5 boxs and this plastic bag thing with 3.5kg worth of paper. and apparently, dhl express means (no not delivery half-way lost) you have to wait 2 weeks. busy busy gotta unpack bye.

2008-07-15T22:29:00.002+08:00

everyday i switch between 3 journals, with 3 separate time frame and different time zones; managing them using 1 system (which frankly i think i worst than kowa; receiving and sorting both relevant and irrelevant emails; struggle to keep my coffee warm; be confused and trouble ph (who only joined a month before) with weird questions that we raise our eyebrows to; get severely mad at the typesetters (currently i am quite annoyed with this one); waking my girlfriend up to get her in time for work; going for cigarette breaks with the mother at 10 and then at 4; decide if i feel social enough to join my colleagues for lunch; make awkward smiles to other colleagues in the pantry; being bothered by the shit stains in the toilet (the toilet bowls has a design flaw); scaring the nice pa girls because there are many articles to be logged in (i have 28 just for one journal now); making sure the typesetters get things right; making sure i don't get things wrong; remembering to cc people in emails; receiving emails with the subject heading "ERROR" from the editor-in-chief and feeling your hair turn white when you just taken over a journal and is clueless.

i am going to continue with my issue markup (zzz still angry with the typesetter) and hopefully i could get it done by tomorrow. i also hope i get my courier tomorrow so i could be less confused, besides my first courier! (i got my first fax two days ago!)

p.s other than an adjective to describe juju, 'promiscuous' is also used to describe cellular behavior!

2008-07-14T00:04:00.005+08:00

more photos from my trip to hainan dao. i have one more roll that had not been developed. our chicken rice is better than the one over their really.

yalong bay, sanya, south china sea where i went scuba diving (redang is nicer)

my parents

mother freaking out at the ride up to the deer mountain (it has no deers but it's called lu hui tou, as in deer go back)

the view of sanya from deer go back mountain

botanical garden at xinlong

mini vine-yard

silver lake, xinlong, i spent 2 nights reading at the balcony of the resort

silver lake, xinlong

fresh coconut welcome drink at my grandpa's village

kitchen

chickens and ducks (ducks are cuter)

there are hammocks everywhere in the village (i had a short nap)

the whole village gathering outside my grandpa's house (that's xiao yu the tour guide next to me)

mother posing outside my grandpa's one-room flat (no en-suite toilet)

random house in the village

the three-wheeled mini truck that transported us out from the village

random people that i may be distantly related to but no one knows not them or my grandpa

village

on another note, f and i went swimming this afternoon. i told her to thread water, and she literally threaded the water as if they were threads. major -.- but that is what makes me laugh so okay you're forgiven for being lame.

2008-07-13T00:23:00.002+08:00

some photos from the visit to my grandfather's ancestral visit in hainan while i wait for f to bathe:

2008-07-09T14:29:00.002+08:00

today is my forth week working at wss, and here are the things i observed:

pantry ladies (pantry ladies because i always see them there)
the smkoing japanese man who takes 2 but never finishes his second cigarette
lifts that indicate to you that they are here but takes another 15 seconds to arrive
i spent 5 minutes everyday trying to get the fingerprint access to open the door
the PAs are the most friendly people around
every time i see or walk past someone with a snack i ask if i could have one
every one is on ebuddy
the average frequency of hearing a phone ring is 3 calls per week

i am having my second handover in 30 minutes, which i hope to be better than yesterday's. i did my calender for all my journals and now i am hoping to find a good spot for a short holiday. (so far i have nothing important or unimportant in december)

it's my 6th month today and i got a shirt and cookies but that's for another entry because i have to go talk to scottish people now bye.

2008-07-01T16:10:00.003+08:00

i'm currenty feeling really angry due to the following:
(i) i cannot apply for the saving accounts i want to (i do not want posb mysavings) because i'm not 21
(ii) i'm not eligible for the GST offset package because i'm not 21
(iii) job listings that require candidates to be at least 21 (i'm not so angry with this because i'm glad i got hired by my company)

my rationale is as follows:
(i) i'm drawing a salary every month
(ii) i contribute to the GDP
(iii) i contribute to the economy too like those 24 year old students whom are eligible as well

my opinions:
(i) age is sometimes a poor indicator
(ii) age does not and should not be a standalone benchmark to decide on financial roll-outs, opening saving accounts, or watching a rated film for that matter

suggestions:
(i) allow case-by-case review
(ii) remember that there are exceptions
(iii) (yes there always have to be a safe benchmark, limit, line, but you need to allow for exceptions, create that exceptions)

clarifications:
(i) i'm angry about the age issue
(ii) i'm not angry that my friends are getting GST roll outs and i'm not

(last night i watched an episode where ally and georgia represented and sued a client on the grounds of agism.)

2008-06-21T01:35:00.002+08:00

"her barely perceptible smile becomes weighty and meaningful, taking me along, making me smile, driving me toward a halcyon border beyond which, i can feel it, there is nothing except infinite smiling. still, it is frightening, i should run away. the smile is opening within me; it is a distance that is not outside of me but in me, yet it is infinite. infinite means the final settling of accounts. the one you've longed for! which, nevertheless, is still frightening now. but i don't want it, i don't want anything. i don't want to defend myself. i am looking at her. her smile is an object, it could penetrate me, can break up distances; she'll be mine, if i let her, through there is still some real distance between us. but i don't stretch out my arms. this is external distance, and she is smiling to herself in an inner distance, for herself, not for me. still, even in this way, she is mine." - peter nadas, love

2008-06-17T00:04:00.001+08:00

i'm no longer $6 an hour. this is my beginning, i'm a song now and i'm starship's nothing's gonna stop us now.

2008-06-07T04:28:00.002+08:00

korean steamboat bbq, sex and the city, toilet search and 8 hours from now i'll be on a plane, over the lands and seas. this marks the end of the beginning and when i'm back, the beginning of a new end. heading on to the next part of my life, getting close to crazy.

to roam along the edges of the earth, catching jupiter with my hands, feeling the breath of your mind lining the length of my skin.

i'm going to close my eyes for awhile now, you'll remain in my sight and when i open them, your pupils in mine.

2008-06-04T09:40:00.003+08:00

photos from felicia's birthday at costa sands (which she deems to be a curse, "who goes to chalet to celebrate birthday?")

the cake and lovely chocolate butterflies

the chalet crowd was made of many different people namely the under aged

the geminis (if you look closely, you can see 8 people here)

the of age friends

note the resemblance (of the hair parting) between paper and real!

things people do in chalets, mahjong is a must!

i think they're my friends (i think)

ah beng with cigarette and ah beng with fan

my brother and his girlfriend making friends with our friends

the bbq people who makes great long lasting fire and fantastic sambal stingray and sotong

and she blew out all 26 candles with a single breath

coming up friday, ju's birthday zi char dinner!

2008-06-03T01:53:00.003+08:00

time is a lost cause, time works for and against. time never waits, it lurks behind the shadow of our beings, it stalks and it follows. if we had not realize it by now, time does not bring us anything or anywhere. we had been misguided by the thought that time heals, this is not with cynicism, what changes, heals or wounds are the things that happen and come about during that span we see as time. you grow a seed, you get a flower; you take nothing and put nothing, you get nothing.

we cannot split ourselves into molecules of time the way we cannot isolate time and keep it for our own. it wanders, it runs, it flies, only away from here, from you are.

time alone is a curse, a jinx on our skins. time alone is everything and nothing because it is the most intangible variable that is both variable and non.

time destroys because we put it up on high as a sole justification, time is a distraction, it causes us to deviate. time management has always been a fancy term, what it is, is not knowing what to do and when, it is knowing that we do not serve time. the only constant is time, not what it comes around with.

time is a wind. the wind makes the cape flatter.

2008-05-28T19:24:00.003+08:00

it's either it smells like fish or my memory fails like your old computer.

2008-05-26T23:44:00.002+08:00

we're riding on pony sticks. no battery, no gas but pedals, so we pedal, and impulses fill our vessels and cloak up our hearts.

2008-05-21T05:40:00.002+08:00

we would go dancing on the alps of our hearts
grazing through and through the trappings
sing the song of your heart
hum the echoes between the valleys
we would seek out the missing constellations of our galaxy
scoping through and through the belts
lay the ropes of my love
trace the plaits over space
majestic sun
heavenly moon
native fire

2008-05-18T18:31:00.002+08:00

if you ask me about my drive to work, this is it. apart from eating books, i belong here, in between the shelves, within the pages of the books, on the plastic sheets of wrap.

2008-05-15T10:47:00.003+08:00

hypothesis: lesbian geminis are most likely to have sex in a taxi

2008-05-14T00:24:00.006+08:00

f's new room, new because it has new wall colors, new furnitures, new furniture arrangements.

that's what nicky does when i call his name out on the webcam, he has now a mullet for his hair and i call him mullet fur ball boy. her sister, whom is named with my name helped did the floral design on the wall. (those golden flowers cost $29 from ikea and they don't really stick)

2008-05-08T01:42:00.002+08:00

so we headed to redang for three days and left our girlfriends behind, we did nothing but snorkel, read, eat and play bridge. (i just watched) these photos actually cost us rm 5 each -.- well i'm glad to be back, especially to my bed. i was practically sleeping on a wire mesh because the mattress was that thin.

our phones failed us the second day on the island and we lost all forms of communication to the world. i suppose it's only fitting since we were at some remote island.

snorkeling was fun though it got boring after awhile, i must get a diving license and see what's beneath. i saw a baby shark and it was cute, i know wrong description but it's really cute. i think i got a little darker... and so is my vision i need to sleep i've got work tomorrow zzz.

more photos to come hopefully. (after i develop my rolls) we experienced 7 blackouts the first night and on the second night disco under the lightnings. and because there was nothing else but endless water and skies, i saw with my bare eyes how the lightning tears down the sky.

our girlfriends made us angry because they didn't want to meet us when we got back, but they sneakily surprised us at golden mile. (f even brought me bread because i'll get hungry at night which is now so i'm going to eat it after i'm done with this which is also now)

(don't tell me i look naked or semi-naked or bottomless in the photos, i was wearing a swimsuit, i refuse to wear a shirt and a pair of shorts and get an ugly funny tan)

2008-05-06T21:03:00.001+08:00

i'm in redang right now! (just wanted to say something like that unplanned, unexpected and sudden on my blog) but i'm really in redang. photos when i'm back tomorrow night!

2008-05-01T03:39:00.003+08:00

there is no need for imagery, the only flowers we see when are roses in a freezer.

remember when we were all younger, lust was a wolf howling under the clear moon beam, fun was sitting in a group of 8 doing nothing, love could be made from ropes that wouldn't wear, ideas that were never too ridiculous, cape crusading and believing we could fly was a reality that is achievable.

when you start to grow up, you lose them because they start to appear immature. you're growing up now, we have to be serious, get a job, go out on weekends, lose the fun, subtract the passion from your youth. lust becomes orgasms, you talk about your income maybe your cpf, excitement comes when the government shares some money with you, love turns over, ideas have to be realistic, you can never fly and a cape is ridiculous.

do you even remember the face of the sun?

2008-04-29T11:37:00.001+08:00

and then i had the funniest urge to hold, carry and sweep you away.

2008-04-27T04:06:00.002+08:00

i could say today was a rather satisfying day, had my first 12 hour sleep this week, discovered the wonders of internet tv that brought me endless nickelodeon (only for spongebob) and comedy central, had good nasi goreng from estella, upsized fried mars bars that i couldn't finish, going to hard rock because i hadn't been there since last year, listening to the band there and not getting my request played (no semi-charmed life?!), playing dota and dying but killing. (and kill stealing my brother's target)

not forgetting the fabulous nasi padang at f's place, great steamboat at rajah inn, all the book shelving and displaying in-between, learning to make a shrink-wrap ball from excess plastic.

and tomorrow's mingling with children day, hopefully it'd be the last.

2008-04-25T02:36:00.001+08:00

from punditkitchen.com

2008-04-24T03:08:00.004+08:00

i will have ipoh hor fan at harbor front centre tomorrow, and this weekend, i must have the ipoh hor fan at ghim moh. i insist! i should go sleep now even though i won't be able to fall asleep till 5, so i shall go conquer facebook iread book quiz, my global quiz rank is now 77.

70% of the questions are about harry potter, 25% are about stephanie meyer and her vampire and werewolf plus human love story, 3% about random fantasy book questions, 1.8% good and sensible book quiz worthy questions, and the last 0.2% of questions like "what is my favorite food". i now know so much about the harry potter universe that i don't have to read the book to know the first names, favorite colors and family trees of everyone!

i don't quite suppose symbols, metaphors or themes matter (not that they do previously) now, and i guess if you don't know what materials harry's wand is made of, or what kind of patronus is snape's, then you don't read enough.

2008-04-21T23:47:00.003+08:00

2008-04-19T07:41:00.003+08:00

delirious silence and the sun shone, light mingling through building gaps and greeting from tree spaces, the breeze singing up the stirling, levitating footsteps. and when the wind sweeps you off your feet, that's when you know it's a morning of infinity and to forever it'll belong.

2008-04-15T05:07:00.001+08:00

write and the words will be my desire

2008-04-13T04:09:00.003+08:00

i want to be the book that sits silently in the corner of the shelf, the book that holds dust, the book that is alone, the book that people know without remembrance, the book that never got on to the bestsellers, nor the new arrivals, the book that fails to win any awards, the book that no one else recommends, the book that is poetry disguised as prose, the book that hardly gets picked up, the book that isn't even protected with wrap, the book that doesn't have any reviews on amazon, the book that only one or maybe two would get, the book that has a badly written synopsis, the book that never gotten a face out, the book that escapes the eyes of the world, that book that is nothing but essence.

2008-04-10T01:05:00.003+08:00

if you love to read, and have an obsessive need to keep track of what you've read, then library thing is a really fantastic website that allows you to help you with it! (good things must share)

i bought 2 new books this week, ayn rand's fountain head and hermann hesse's siddhartha, can't wait to read siddhartha actually but i'm still not done reading american gods which is a disappointment. the plot is getting dry and it isn't that fantastic as what people say it is, i only read half of the book but already i'm having problems carrying on.

flowers of algernon by daniel keyes is my current favorite book, simply written, nothing bombastic or heavy and good. i think everyone should read it, apart from the perks of being a wallflower of course. it's nothing pretentious and sadly i think alot of books these days are, i mean i don't read alot but i do get to flip some pages at page one and though it may not give an accurate judgment on the book itself, i still think alot of books are pretentious. sometimes you don't have to read a book to know what it's like.

i made a decision to stop getting books that people recommend (even from those i work with in the bookshop!), i got american gods and the curious incident of the dog in the night time because wq and someone else said i should read it, and i didn't like either of those two!

i think book recommendation is tacky because everyone looks for different things, last week someone asked me for books to make you cry and another asked for books with perverse themes. i look for simplicity, surreality, sincerity in a book, what do you look for?

2008-04-10T00:00:00.000+08:00

no stop telling me about smartfix, because it requires an internet connection to fix the issue and the issue is that the connection cannot be established (as most problems would be), i do not see what is so smart about that. and the customer service hotline is making me wait longer than comfort on christmas eve, which i must say is bad customer service not because i'm waiting but because it'll close in approximately 23 minutes. you mean your subscribers wouldn't have internet problems after 12?!

(also, your ad response to starhub's the big fat green pipe is atrociously disastrous, you need a new ad agency or a takeover.) i call it the definitive moment of local advertising, 2 competitors, one witty ad to set itself apart from its compeition, the other pathetic attempt to be funny and it didn't work in convincing the audiences that their service is better than its competitor. it's a joke you know.

after typing all these i'm still on hold after 21 minutes. my internet connection doesn't work perfectly all the time either, but you have not been connecting to the internet for the pass six, seven days? and when mine fails, all i need to do is reboot my computer, which does not work for my girlfriend.

my dear, this is a public plea for you to switch to a better internet service provider, because your current provider is inefficient.

2008-04-09T02:22:00.003+08:00

for the stroll along the biscuit aisle of the supermarket, for the sneak air kisses behind the books, for the phone conversation about meat and vegetables, for the eating and putting on weight, for the web cam lag that freezes when you yawn, for the coming home to watch tvb shows, for the punching in and punching out of cards, for the black mushroom pirate keychain, for the getting through of difficulties, for the incompatibility of taste buds, for the wanting of buying a mac that led to an objecting statement, for the endless walking and grouchiness of shopping, for the itinerary of destinations, for the wooden swing upstairs where i fell in love with you, for the glass walls that separated your lips and mine when fireworks shot to the sky, for the thinking and deciding lunch, for the annoying of nicky by blowing air into his face, for the getting pushed off my own bed, for the sprouting senseless cantonese phrases because it is cantonese, for the calls to me while i'm asleep, for the constant hitting of my arm, for the words every night before i go to sleep, for the first second and now the third, for the love i have to give to you, for the one that is mine.

i will have you for dinner come thursday, but come tomorrow let it be our future.

2008-04-04T04:51:00.002+08:00

it felt funny to be stuck in the rain this afternoon, see usually i'll make a run for it (and enjoy) but today i hid behind a wall because i fear the rain.

i think my sleep issue is back again, the hunger problem has always been around, and there's nothing for me to do at this hour. (given its size, the internet is surprisingly boring)

2008-03-30T02:25:00.002+08:00

my motion is at a halt, everything else is going because i hear cars. my neighbors have been playing mahjong everyday friday and saturday for the past 2 weeks, it's baseless but their tiles are making me mad. i no longer think i'm worthy or capable to be what i wanted to be. i hardly get things right, when i did, i was happy, but i started to get it wrong again. i tried i really did, when all you do is wrong, you've got nothing left to do but try. sure i try, but no one is going to wait for me to get it right, and how can i possibly expect people to wait for me to get it right?

the night is yellow, i'm weary of the greys, the whites, the blacks. someday my skin and bones will turn into something beautiful.

2008-03-28T00:52:00.003+08:00

i watched becoming jane and the moral of its story, intensity is nothing compared to practicality. in fact, intensity is only a plot. like all novels, plot keeps you going, but what is essential is a climax to bring you out from the plot. remember that, don't bank on it.

2008-03-24T04:28:00.000+08:00

beyond before and after, beyond what we were and what we are, life brings us forth and shakes us back. forth to what we will be, back to what we once were and the changes that makes us grow it sets us apart. we are within a time capsule that travels along the line of time, a multiplication of time, a two-fold of change. time is quick and it halts, we pause to take a bow only to charge ahead without.

move and stop, beyond before and after, for we are what is in between, and in between is all we have, rest those hardened heels, beyond the in between, set our souls on fire, beyond and between.

2008-03-22T17:20:00.001+08:00

2008-03-21T17:06:00.001+08:00

the water bearer speaks
flow o flow
miles into the nile
without a start
to no end

2008-03-20T05:11:00.000+08:00

where do i put my anger
on your hands
in my eyes
yet it slips through your fingers like water
rises like a fire within the pupils of my eyes
there isn't any white to come along with this

in between before and after

where do i put my heart
in your locket
on my cape
and it lingers around the ropes you keep unworn
flaps by the movements of the wind in the sky
there is full of grey missing itself

in between before and after

2008-03-19T15:27:00.002+08:00

i still see the roadside stalls, the recklessness of it's traffic, the darkened walls of samsen, the odor of sewages, the cables that string over our heads, the strays lying in the middle of walkways, that bridge over the waters, the descend into khao san that steals away it's magic, too much bright neon lights, too much of the same (same-same). where i belonged to the chipped walkways, where i already missed the air that fills me with dirt, i lay my steps on its blackened sidewalks. but i'm not one of them, not those of khao san, nor those locals, i'm transiting in between before and after, filling my baggage with shoes and shirts because that's the only thing they sell.

the sky is the same everywhere, so are the buckets of alcohol, the plastic forks and spoons, the hawking everywhere. what was different were the jerks of pain in my hand, the unknown stories behind all the faces, me.

hi, i'm back.

2008-03-14T06:29:00.003+08:00

since i'm listening to it, i'm going to make a list of mambo songs (that they play in zouk):

all that she wants -ace of base
square rooms - al corley
big in japan - alphaville
forever young - alphaville
baby baby - amy grant
tarzan boy - baltimora
i heard a rumor - bananarama
love in the first degree - bananarama
venus - bananarama
leave a light on - belinda carlisle
summer rain - belinda carlisle
it's my life - bon jovi
kung fu fighting - carl douglas
(i just) died in your arms - cutting crew
girls just wanna have fun - cyndi lauper
let's dance - david bowie
you spin me right round - dead or alive
shake your love - debbie gibson
hungry like a wolf - duran duran
september - earth wind & fire
a little respect - erasure
cross my heart - eighth wonder
the final countdown - europe
sweet dreams - eurythmics
she drives me crazy - fine young cannibals
it's raining men - scissors sisters
once in a lifetime - gregorian
together in electric dreams - the human league
flashdance (what a feeling) - irene cara
too many broken hearts - jason donovan
that's the way (i like it) -
give it up - kc & the sunshine band
i beg your pardon (i never promised you a rose garden) - kon kan
celebration - kool and the gang
self control - laura branigan
head to toe
lost in emotion - lisa lisa & cult jam
holiday - madonna
like a prayer - madonna
lucky star - madonna
safety dance - men without hats
bizarre love triangle - new order
true faith - new order
always on my mind - pet shop boys
go west - pet shop boys
west end girls - pet shop boys
when in rome - the promise
ghostbusters - ray parker jr
together forever - rick astley
never gonna give you up - rick astley
the look - roxette
push it - salt n pepper
let the music play - shannon
don't you forget - simple minds
tainted love - soft cell
call me - spagna
true - spandau ballet
nothing's gonna stop us now - starship
everybody wants to rules the world - tears for fears
shout - tears for fears
dying inside to hold you - timmy thomas
sex bomb - tom jones
mickey - toni basil
the hustle - van mccoy
ymca - village people
wake me up before you go-go - wham!
how will i know - whitney houston

(if i had the time and resources, i'd do a mambo wiki complete with the moves)

2008-03-14T05:31:00.002+08:00

six out of ten bangkok checklist done! (i even watched bleach 164, emo boy is l33t) tomorrow morning would be the third time i'm traveling on an airplane since 9 years ago so i'm quite excited to have my passport stamped, get my hands frozen at the airport and to do all those stuff you do at the airport when you're flying away from singapore.

sort of like leaving everything behind here, except that i'm coming back in four days. (remind me that i've found an airplane discussion about courts' advertising, which i think you may find interesting)

i started packing my bag already because i'm quite paranoid about forgetting to bring my passport or something else. not done with packing yet and my bag is already full, i'm using celina's approach to pack everything in... smaller bags. i've a medicine/toothbrush bag (just remembered my hair wax), sleeping clothes and undergarment bag, going-out wear and another bag for my slippers, charger and wires bag. still thinking if i should bring american gods because i've yet to finish reading flatland, but i think i'd finish it on the plane there. (also forgotten to charge ipod)

think i may be overly anxious because my flight's still twenty-five hours away, i just don't want to do everything last minute and miss anything out. i think i have preparation anxiety.

i need to go hunt for good weapons now, i accidentally sold my 12k armor shield and 91+ damage two-handed sword to an npc.

2008-03-11T05:41:00.006+08:00

#1 went for mahjong at crystal's, lost 11 dollars even though i man tai zi mo twice, quite annoyed because at least 2 tai, so we ended up giving joy free money zzz.

#2 outram is like ns, whenever we meet, we have to talk about it

#3 i heard this song on the radio which is quite hot (haha i know coming from me), it is damn hot actually but no one knew the title or singer. maybe its chris brown or something i have no idea, or whichever popular male r&b singer. this is what happens when you stop watching tv, listening to the radio and stop going to club. i would actually like to try describe the song but all i can think of is, that's hot and you know those sexy seductive sounding r&b songs. if anyone happens to know the existence of plausible songs that may fit my wide description plzplzplz tell me.

#4 realism: if it doesn't, then it wouldn't, so that would be.

#5 lolcat of the week

2008-03-09T23:42:00.004+08:00

the weekend was eventful is many ways, i think both my left arm and leg is starting to grow some muscles. got into a mini-accident (mini because there wasn't blood and i'm alive) with a taxi. i'm not even sure what happened because it was all within split seconds, but after analyzing my shoe which is abit torn and has black stains, i think the taxi's wheel somehow run over my right foot without breaking any bones. i don't even know if the taxi hit me because i fell to my side, but either way i think i'm really lucky to be alive. it was a 4 lane road during peak hour, even if the taxi avoided me i could have gotten hit by the incoming cars from the next lane. went to the hospital in an ambulance (good experience) and got home in crutches. (so much for playing with amelia and yuan's crutches in the past)

i didn't see that incident the way people around me saw it, and i think i cannot feel myself sometimes in relation to others. which is bad, because now that i feel some parts of myself in relation to others, i'm lost.

it isn't a near-death experience, but i could have gotten broken bones and i could have lost myself (although the thought of losing myself didn't cross my mind i don't why, i take this as a bad thing) but i suppose it's enough to shake you and make you... feel, and to feel yourself in your place in this world.

not a cape crusader, not even a cape, only a piece of sheet.

2008-03-08T13:03:00.000+08:00

funny how as an aquarian i never learn

2008-03-08T03:39:00.002+08:00

so how do we do?

2008-03-05T01:10:00.004+08:00

on the day subway has bread, i got a foot long so i could eat something when i'm hungry at night, but on that day, my brother decided to eat my bread, so now i'm angry and hungry with nothing to eat.

2008-03-04T06:35:00.003+08:00

gave f her valentine day's present today, though it's late. (have yet to get mine too, i'm stuck at challenge #2 which is to sing the mcdonalds menu song, it's not meant for humans!) made her a rather big photo frame which i painted with red and deep purple, so she could have nicky's photo on it, the colors didn't exactly turn out the way i wanted it to, but it didn't turn out disastrous or anything like that.

hadn't spent much time with her lately, missed her, but there's bangkok next week to look forward to! we both had the same reaction of "next week?!" when we realized that it's really next week. am excited about it! i had never went on a holiday trip with my girlfriend, i have not taken a plane since primary 5, it would also be my first trip without adults even though i can't say that and be technically correct about it because i'm 20 and you don't say things like that at 20, i'm not quite an adult adult but my girlfriend is, but you know the whole no parents thing. (i seriously intend to make a fake id that says i'm 28)

my book reading is going well, 9 books and counting since the start of the year, if i was still in secondary i'd win reader of the term award. i'm currently reading frankenstein, trying to appreciate the classic, but so far they aren't exciting. i also found out that black heads grow on our ears.

work is going fun, i'm self-proclaiming myself to be a pro after the brief one day stint at humanities, i also survived a day at the children's section. the books give me this weird sense of security, as if nothing can go wrong. after all they're books, they don't just combust on the shelves.

food has officially ran out at home except for 3 packets of har mee and 2 packets of zhar mee which i'm honestly terribly sick of, f thinks i'm growing thin, but i'm 0.5kg heavier than the last time i weighed myself.

i'm tired but i don't feel like sleeping, great weather to do so, but i think it's quite a waste to sleep such a weather off, i feel perfectly at home with it. sort of like snuggling within the comforts of falling water from my jar. (i'm aquarian so i have one)

mingin actually means ugly, so all along i've been wearing a sweat shirt that says ugly. to think i like the sound of the word.

2008-03-02T05:37:00.002+08:00

it's always psychologically alluring to be aloof and detached, yet our emotions demand us to emotionally behave like the emotion goes. beyond this point, you start being unable to sleep.

anyway i've got a distracting question to pose, why do we always assume someone who's not feeling okay to be brooding? and then why do we continue to assume that when someone poses a question like that to be putting on a fake strong front? you mean a person can't feel sad, be strong and form questions?

i can't sleep because i've been feeling uneasy for the entire night. i have books to look forward to in the noon and maybe you.

2008-03-01T16:44:00.005+08:00

finally got rid of the mini hi-fi and finished shelving my books, they only took up one row, which means i need to buy more book, i think i just developed an obsession to buy books. i also organized my film negatives and filed them in an orange ring file. i think i'd want to get a painting or a nice sheet of cloth to pin my star wars pins and hang them on the wall beside my shelves. so now, 4 more rolls left to develop. i even washed the bag i intend to bring to bangkok.

book shelving is really therapeutic. ok shall go pretend to be michelle branch and santana which will be quite ironic but anyway bye. (i keep forgetting there's ktv at home)

2008-02-29T18:26:00.002+08:00

because it's a leap-day-year today, i'm going to do something special like properly arranging and shelving my books on the shelves in my room. should i shelf them according to author's last name or to genre then author's last name? but the latter would be a little troublesome because if i would to do so, i'd use p1 standard which means it would be quite weird considering i don't have much books now. i should just stick to the last name standard until my room has no space to contain my books.

and in the midst of doing so, i think i would probably throw away the mini-hi-fi player which i have no use for anymore, the only times i used it when it was "power 98 now!" or "listen class 95", i mean i suppose i could use the internet if that purpose arises. and as for my old files, i think i'd just keep my secondary 4 english file and gp file because they have this ability to make me feel better about myself other than wear shirts. the trophies... are worthless and i don't really understand why my mother arranges them, but i'll keep the ones that say "debate champion" and "best speaker", they really make me feel better. i'm also intending on getting rid of the misc assorted exbox from long time ago, we all have exboxes, i think they're taking up unnecessary space. (i could place 5 average paperbacks with that width!) but i suppose i'd keep the other 2 for now.

fantastic! except that i'm hungry now, okay at least i have a plan.

p.s realized people do actually crap through their glands

2008-02-29T03:37:00.005+08:00

on wednesday i went to the mini-section dinner at arab st (which i didn't eat because 1) not a fan of middle eastern food 2) i didn't felt like eating), and then i realized that one of my co-workers is the kind of twin/sister i would want to have. because see her initials, like mine, consists of the same alphabet!! and the only other person i know who shares that is laura, plus we're all aquarians, so i think only mostly aquarians have nice sounding names like us!! (mjj can semi-count as one) did i also mentioned that she reads (read ah) starwars and watches bleach? she's like my brother but female, same age, and aquarian. she's leaving soon and i think i might miss completing book shelving speed. but honestly, if she wasn't aquarian i wouldn't think of her this way, i seriously think i'm quite astrologically discriminative towards every other horoscope sign except for mine. (?!)

last weekend, we discovered a fantastic food place hidden in toa payoh/bradell/bishan and while waiting for the sky to set, we had a photo-shot of each other, but mainly of her.

i rediscovered the old movie the fly 1 and 2, must go find them and gross myself out again. i actually liked those two shows. shall go try my luck and see if i can order mcdonalds. i just read the most horrible book this year, even though it only cost me $3, i could have bought something to eat with it or something! ugh was a little frustrated about it. ok my big breakfast got through! shall go read h g well's time machine next! (already allocated american gods for bkk)

2008-02-28T04:38:00.000+08:00

hk parody of the edison scandal: very very funny hahahhahaha

2008-02-27T19:10:00.003+08:00

how those little piano keys string along, i feel exactly like that tune, but different because the fingers are nervous and i've got no more words to fill this up.

2008-02-27T00:20:00.004+08:00

posb is... lame. no seriously, from the hours of 12am to 7am, you cannot activate your debit card. i'm terribly hungry, there's nothing left at home to eat, not even garlic, my wallet is lighter than your ipod, i do not have 20 dollars left in my bank to withdraw. there's only two pieces of bread left at home, for some reason msn's connection is fucked. i asked my mother why didn't she buy any food stuff to keep at home in case my brother or i or both gets hungry, and she answers by telling me that i didn't ask her to. baraburi doesn't have a double room for me, only a twin with no windows. i've got questions but no one is answering my calls. the computer insisted that the cf card is not formated. if you think i'm ranting my anger at people/the world, i'm not, i'm angry with myself because i do not have enough money, enough food, enough cigarettes, and receive enough world-class services, and i cannot keep up with myself, i think i can forget about being a college kid and i should start working because this is the reality of singapore.

this is basically what happens, if you're born in the year of 1988, into a higher-lower income family in debt, educated in a non elite school, is quite smart but have your plausible education grants go to non-singaporeans, living in an economy so well cigarettes cost me 2 hours of work. i'm not blaming the government you know, i blame myself for being in the above conditions.

so honestly, i'd want to be taking actions to alleviate myself from this, and be responsible for my own life, and dreams. which can only mean this is good-bye college and possibly-eventually goodbye singapore.

p.s of course reality also includes having a degree (as in with singapore), but the reality of actual degree holders is something else as well

but for now i'll ogle at a cute lolcat to forget i was ever hungry and broke.